


Compilation

by setosdarkness



Series: OTP Collection - IwaOi [9]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: And More Fluff, Confessions, Dorks in Love, Fluff, M/M, dork boyfriends, or Oikawa sort of forces Iwa-chan to confess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-19
Updated: 2014-10-19
Packaged: 2018-02-21 20:18:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2481074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/setosdarkness/pseuds/setosdarkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A compilation of cheesy / cliche romance scenarios for Iwaizumi and Oikawa.</p><p>"I'm allowed to be greedy with my boyfriend!"<br/>"B-B-B-B-B-Boyfriend? Since when?!"<br/>"Um, since forever? Get on with the program, Iwa-chan."</p><p>01 - Oikawa rigs the 'Spin the Bottle' game and traps them in a closet together.<br/>02 - Oikawa cooks for Iwaizumi. Food poisoning ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. trapped in a closet together

**••• trapped in a closet together**   
  
"Wow, Iwa-chan, this must be fate, huh?"  
  
Iwaizumi sends Oikawa his best 'you've got to be kidding me' look, but Oikawa being Oikawa (read: stupidly vain and ridiculously dense when it comes to his own nasty personality) is not affected at all. If anything else, Oikawa latches onto his shirt with renewed vigor, practically rubbing his baby-smooth cheeks against his bared arm.   
  
He's never, ever wearing sleeveless tops for the duration of this training camp, because his teammates are wolves in sheep's clothing who are evil enough to turn a blind eye to Oikawa's manipulations as long as they get a laugh out of it. Nobody could have missed how Oikawa had deliberately spun the bottle just so - is it even counted as spinning if he only flicked it slightly so that it will be pointed to his friend seated to his right – but nobody (aside from him) had protested to Oikawa picking on his friend and daring him to spend at least an hour with him inside a closet.  
  
"Some fate this must be," Iwaizumi mutters with great feeling, because one – he told absolutely nobody about the queasiness that settles low on his stomach whenever he's alone with Oikawa recently (read: practically every single moment of his cursed teenage life) and two – trust Oikawa to use an annoyingly wide range of products to make his skin so damn soft. "You practically shoved me into this closet, trashykawa."  
  
"Hey, hey, no shoving was involved, okay?" Oikawa chides him while punctuating each syllable with a rub to his upper arm. It will be a damn wonder if he doesn't develop rashes from the other's hair tickling his arm. Or maybe allergies to obliviously flirty bastards who have no mercy on their poor childhood friends that they have ensnared in their evil, evil trap. "I might have asked Kindaichi and Kunimi to give you a little push though~"  
  
"I'm gonna kill you."  
  
"Oikawa-san is anti-violence!" Oikawa sits up and the motion places the other's knee within centimeters of Iwaizumi's crotch and this is torture. This must be punishment from the gods above since he dared hope to develop their life-long friendship into something more. The closet is fucking tiny. "Plus, you don't have anything here that you can kill me with!"  
  
Iwaizumi shifts, subtly angling his body so that Oikawa's movements won't directly fall into his lap. "Don't test me, dumbass."  
  
"Iwa-chan is so lucky that Oikawa-san is so great and forgiving that he doesn't mind your insults since he can read between the lines~♪"  
  
"And what exactly did you manage to read, dumbass."  
  
"That Iwa-chan loooooves me, of course~☆"  
  
!!!  
  
He takes a moment to convince his heart to start beating again, because Oikawa is an asshole who loved (correctly) assuming that everyone's in love with him. It's not like he means it seriously. It's not like he really knows. It's not like that at all.  
  
…isn't it?  
  
"…Go die, dumbass Oikawa."  
  
But he must have taken longer than usual to respond, because Oikawa's leering at him – he can't see the actual expression of course, because there's no lighting at all, but he can practically feel the other's leer radiating from his smug face.   
  
"Aww, you're making me blush~♥" Oikawa's simpering has never sounded so irritating. "You're soooo not romantic at all, Iwa-chan~ No wonder you're not popular with girls at all, huh."  
  
"…not everyone is a dumbass like you," Iwaizumi weakly retorts, his heart practically rattling in terror inside his chest. There's not much space inside this closet that Oikawa had stuck them at, and with the miniscule space between their bodies, Iwaizumi can feel every breath the other takes. It's no wonder if Oikawa can feel the thundering beat of his pathetic, traitorous, weak heart that's stupid enough to fall for a flirty childhood friend possessing a model-tier handsome face, passionate dedication to volleyball and a seemingly-endless supply of antics untarnished by any of Iwaizumi's chiding.  
  
Oikawa laughs, but it's a strained sound that echoes in the silence of the small space for the two of them. Iwaizumi can't hear anything past his own heartbeat and Oikawa's chuckles, but he won't make it past his evil, evil teammates to actually eavesdrop on this. The wood looks thick enough for sounds to not pass through easily, but he can't be too sure. But then again, it's not like he actually cares of the others hear what's going on here. It's not like the two of them bickering is anything new.  
  
"…I wonder what they think we're doing," Oikawa muses lightly, nudging their foreheads together.  
  
Iwaizumi panics, his hands trapped by his sides, frozen as to what to do with them. They feel clammy, even though the weather is cool enough, there's something nerve-wracking with being this close to Oikawa – which is absurd, because they're practically joined by the hip to the point that everybody just assumes that they're within half a meter of each other. Puberty, hormones and life-changing realizations are the worst and Iwaizumi is still cursing the day that he realized that he's actually more than just a little jealous of Oikawa's long line of fans and girlfriends and strangers that snap pictures of him and attempt to take his brilliance for themselves. He would have been fine with things remaining the same if he didn't realize his feelings, but he was unsuccessful in making himself forget about his feelings – he only earned himself a headache trying to headbutt his desk too hard.  
  
"If they're smart, they'll know that I'm this close to strangling you."  
  
"Iwa-chan's such a bad liar," Oikawa chides him, bumping their noses together in a poor imitation of an Eskimo kiss. His words wash over Iwaizumi's lips and he bites them, because he can almost kiss Oikawa like this, and he can probably play it off as an accident, no matter how much Oikawa told him that he's a bad liar.  
  
"I'll really kill you, you shitty bastard."  
  
Oikawa's hands wrap around his bare shoulders, the other's body burning marks at every spot they brush upon. Iwaizumi wonders if he will faint from overheating, if he can pass this off as a delayed reaction to their heatstroke-inducing training earlier today.   
  
"Oikawa-san's kind enough to get us this opportunity, but I'm disappointed that Iwa-chan is still very shy when it's just the two of us." Oikawa draws away then knocks their foreheads together again, delivering a gentle, more affectionate version of Iwaizumi's usual headbutts. "You can tell me a~n~y~thing, you know, Iwa-chan?"  
  
"Get off me, dumbass." There's hardly any heat left in his words – most of his body heat has already traveled upwards. It's great that there's no lighting here, because Iwaizumi's sure that he's blushing a deep red now and it would be like handing Oikawa the reins to tease him mercilessly for his feelings.  
  
"Tut-tut-tut~♪" Oikawa's smirking at him, his hands kneading his shoulders, uncaring about how the closeness is making shivers run chaotic marathons up and down his spine. "Are you sure that's all you want to say, Iwa-chan?"  
  
"I'm sure," Iwaizumi whispers to the millimeters separating their lips.  
  
"Hmm, you're so adorable when you're stubborn, Iwa-chan~❤" Oikawa comments airily, his right hand moving up to settle securely at Iwaizumi's nape, while his left hand teases the strip of skin just above the waistband of his gym shorts. "How about let's start with 'I love you, Oikawa'? Or maybe with 'you're the best, Oikawa~', hmm?"  
  
Iwaizumi feels his heart stop, then beat double time. He swallows his dread as he returns Oikawa's burning stare with a glare of his own. He isn't a coward who runs away from his problems, especially if his gorgeous but annoying problem is right there, pinning him down with his warm weight and his lilting words.   
  
Of course.  
  
There's nothing that he doesn't know about Oikawa, but it also means that Oikawa knows everything about him, even the deepest things that he sometimes don't even understand about himself.  
  
It's not like they have any secrets with each other.  
  
"I will never say that," Iwaizumi breathes out in the end, because he might be in love with the dumbass above him, but he'll never say something as gross as proclaiming Oikawa the best out loud.  
  
"Eh? How stingy, Iwa-chan. You should shower me with affection every now and then."  
  
"Don't you get enough of those from your fans?"  
  
"I do! But I want it to come from Iwa-chan!"  
  
"Don't be too greedy, shittykawa."  
  
"I'm allowed to be greedy with my boyfriend!"  
  
!!!  
  
???  
  
?!!  
  
"B-B-B-B-B-Boyfriend?" Iwaizumi chokes out and he almost misses the way Oikawa laughs at him and brushes their lips together for a brief kiss. He cannot believe the other's nerve – teasing him then stealing his first kiss and his first love and his first everything just like the spoiled brat that he is. "Since when?!"  
  
"Um, since forever? Get on with the program, Iwa-chan, mou."  
  
"Shouldn't I know and agree to be your boyfriend before it counts?"  
  
"Are you saying that you have complaints to being my boyfriend?"  
  
"I do have a number of complaints, actually."  
  
"Well, too bad, because I won't listen to them!!!"  
  
"You dumbass," Iwaizumi says with great feeling – which just sadly ends up as fond, affectionate and hardly angry and aghast, like he intended to sound. He tries again and tries not to smile as every syllable he makes ends up having him kiss Oikawa's cherry-flavored lips: "I can't believe your nerve."  
  
"Hmph! I wasn't going to do anything, because I know Iwa-chan likes to take the lead, but you were taking sooooooooo long to realize your feelings and I didn't want to miss the chance of being lovey-dovey during this training camp!"  
  
"We're supposed to be, you know, training in this training camp."  
  
"All work and no Oikawa makes Iwa-chan such a dull boy."  
  
"That's not how that phrase works, dumbass."  
  
"I'm adapting it to our situation. Aren't I the best?"  
  
"Shut up, dumbass."  
  
"We still have about thirty minutes," Oikawa says after a moment, wriggling as he makes himself more comfortable while sacrificing Iwaizumi's own sense of comfort. "How about you shut me up properly, Hajime?"  
  
And because feeling that smug smirk is both dizzying and irritating: "Thirty minutes is enough for me to kill you, huh."  
  
"Eh?! I don't mean like that, ugh, read the mood, Iwa-chan, the mood!"  
  
(Oikawa shuts up after that. And because the Aobajousai Private High School Boys Volleyball Club is made up of smart boys who are smarter than their happy-go-lucky captain and equally smitten vice-captain, nobody fetches the two after an hour or two is over. After all, they're smart enough to accept Oikawa's bribe to leave him and Iwaizumi alone in the closet.)  
  
(Of course, after Iwaizumi finds out, he punches Oikawa square on the gut. Then he treats his team – out of the goodness of his heart, and certainly not because he's glad for their interference, not at all.)  
  



	2. cooking dinner for him

**••• cooking dinner for him**  
  
"So~? What are you waiting for, Iwa-chan~?"  
  
Iwaizumi sighs heavily as he sinks to the chair that Oikawa has practically forced him into. He eyes the steaming casserole in front of him with part-distaste and part-apprehension. He idly wonders if this is what torture feels like. His stomach rumbles from the hours of emptiness it had to endure on top of going through the usual amount of practice that Aobajousai subjects its very willing athletes to.  
  
He's torn between wanting to indulge Oikawa by actually eating the unidentified mass in front of him (pro: he's really hungry, so it can't be that bad, can it?) and wanting to run somewhere very far away from what looks like sludge gathered from some unknown pit. He makes it a point to always acknowledge one's efforts, but looking at the bubbling meal in front of him, he's somehow not so sure if he should continue encouraging Oikawa into doing this.  
  
"…what is it exactly?"  
  
"Oh, I thought I would make your favorite dish!"  
  
They've been friends for more than ten years (he isn't counting, damn it) so he'd like to think that they (unfortunately) know each other's likes and dislikes pretty well.   
  
Still, he wants to be sure before he doles out judgment.  
  
"…this is agedashi tofu?"  
  
There's no way, right?  
  
There's no way even Oikawa can butcher such a simple dish, right?  
  
There's no way any agedashi tofu recipes contain some bizarre bubbling thing and something that looks like mushy potatoes, right?  
  
"Silly, Iwa-chan! Of course it's your favorite agedashi tofu!"  
  
"YOU'VE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME."  
  
"W-Wow! Such violent reaction, Iwa-chan! I'm all for world peace, you know??? Hey, Iwa-chan? Are you listening to me???"  
  
"This looks like you tried to sacrifice some internal organs to summon some demon." Iwaizumi is all for honesty and frankness, because there's no way he can soften the blow for this kind of failure.  
  
His serious words deflate Oikawa, who was practically bouncing before. Now, it looks like he's been told that aliens aren't real (seriously, that kicked puppy expression of his has stayed the same from before, when Iwaizumi had bopped him at the back of his head for trying to rope him into looking for UFO crash sites) and the expression shouldn't look so heart-wrenching on a grown-ass man, but it somehow does.  
  
"I was just joking, Iwa-chan." Iwaizumi rises from his seat as Oikawa lifts the casserole with trembling hands, smile wide, eyes feverishly bright, shoulders stiff. Iwaizumi sighs again as more words spill out from Oikawa's shitty, lying mouth: "Why would the great Oikawa-san waste time cooking for you~?"  
  
Iwaizumi rolls his eyes as he steels himself for what he's about to do next. He doesn't even have to think much about this, because there's only one response to a disheartened Oikawa in his book.  
  
"It's… okay," he manages to get out as he swallows the mangled tofu that feels like it's burning a line across his throat. If he was braver, he would have said that it's delicious, but he's not good at lying due to lack of practice. He shifts as he retrieves the pot from Oikawa's still-trembling hands and returns it to the dining table. He averts his eyes and instead focuses on the pieces he picks with his chopsticks, not quite meeting Oikawa's eyes. "I'm not letting you cook anything alone next time."  
  
A couple of minutes pass with them like that: in the middle of Oikawa's dining room, two teenage boys standing as Oikawa gapes at the Iwaizumi who likes to hit him for his stupid antics, but still indulges him on moments that count, the sound of Iwaizumi courageously swallowing down the food echoing in their minds.  
  
"…is Iwa-chan offering to teach me how to cook~?"  
  
"It's better than letting you poison others."  
  
"How mean, Iwa-chan!"  
  
But both of them are smiling, nevertheless.  
  
(Of course, Iwaizumi's yelling at Oikawa a couple of hours afterward while he's stuck inside the bathroom, stomach ruined by Oikawa's monstrous cooking. Iwaizumi vows to never let Oikawa help in the kitchen ever again.)  
  



End file.
